Self-Love Part Two: Career and Mental Health
In my last blog, we addressed the idea of self-love and what that really means in a very practical way, rather than just throwing those words around recklessly. We discussed some practical ideas of what it means to really have a lot of self-care and self-loving in relation to who you are as a physical being and also, how you cultivate self-love in terms of relationships with other people.
In this blog, we’re going to discuss how you find self-love in your career and your working life. Plus we cover how you find self-love in regards to your thinking mind (mental health) or your day-to-day thoughts.
So let’s start with the career.
How do we find self-love in our career?
1. We need to be working in a career that we find exciting and passionate and that we really care and stand for. The best way to show love and care in your working environment is to love and support and agree with the values of the organization and what you’re doing out there in the world. If you don’t believe in what your employers or company stands for, or if you’re working for just yourself and don’t feel the heart connection (it’s all about money), then you’re constantly going against your own heart, your own values, your own integrity. That is definitely NOT self-loving. That’s the first part.
So, self-love is knowing when to put the brakes on, when to rest, when to oscillate between that beautiful state of Yin and Yang, which is rest and recovery versus achieving and expending energy.
2. Self-love is connecting with people at work and feeling like you’ve got a tribe of people to hang with. It’s very self-loving to hang out with people in your workplace that can match your values, support, nourish and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Laughing with these guys or feeling you can be your own authentic self is the key. So if there is an issue with people at work, it’s good to get that resolved as soon as you can, so that you’re showing up every day and feeling like you’re in a nourishing tribe.
3. Finally, nourishing yourself and showing self-love in a career is to look after your energy. Yes, we all have energy stores and we don’t have a limitless supply. We do have to be mindful of our tiredness levels and what is feasible to do in terms of achieving goals or meeting commitments. So we’ve got some personality A-types that overachieve and overdrive and they end up burning out and that is definitely not self-loving. So, self-love is knowing when to put the brakes on, when to rest, when to oscillate between that beautiful state of Yin and Yang, which is rest and recovery versus achieving and expending energy. For a full understanding of yin and yang, read more here. Self-love in terms of energy is managing your energy properly and responsibly and therefore being kind to yourself.
4. The last quality to think about, to practice self-love at work is knowing when you are done with the job or career that you’re in. Tuning in and realizing that it’s time to go. That doesn’t mean that you don’t love that industry or that kind of work even, it’s more just knowing when your time is up at the place you’re at, whether it’s your own business or whether it’s working for someone else. Really, paying attention to whether your energy is connected or excited or wanting to be in that same place. We all need to upgrade and move to the next vehicle of expression over time, so a self-loving career is allowing you to step up and out into new things that are right for your evolution.
So now we move onto the second category of mental health or day-to-day thinking and thoughts. This is where most of us get caught out in terms of self-love or lack of self-love. We are often very hard on ourselves. I call it the inner critic. We all have an inner critic that is very judgemental and hard on us in relation to the performance or how we think we are performing in the world. We are super-sensitive to how we think other people see us.
How do we find self-love in our own mind chatter?
In terms of mental health, here’s my checklist of what to look out for.
1. Really start to manage those day-to-day thoughts and whenever you pick up anything on the radar that is indicative of negative self-talk; catch it, look at it and let it go immediately. And you might do this over 20 times in 20 minutes or 20 times in 1 minute. The aim is to be catching any negative thoughts, stopping this process in its tracks, rewinding and letting it go so that you’re training your neural responses to be kinder to yourself. A kind of ‘course correction’ in self-inflicted harsh language. That’s the first thing to practice.
The aim is to be catching any negative thoughts, stopping this process in its tracks, rewinding and letting it go so that you’re training your neural responses to be kinder to yourself.
2. The second thing would be in terms of intentionally making healthy mindset choices for us. The idea is to hang out with people that energize you, not drain you. So, it’s very unloving when we start to spend time or too much time with people that aren’t kind or caring to us or that abuse us in some way. These people aren’t encouraging, and they just partner with your own inner critic and gang up on you. You, therefore, want to make time to spend with people that are encouraging, loving, nourishing, and nurturing to you. Who wants the best for you?
3. The third thing in relation to self-love and mental health is to really look at what’s blocking you or limiting you in life and really take the time to unpack that issue. And when I mean unpack, I mean look at it, where it’s come from, how you might be able to resolve it, and getting some help, whether that’s through a coach like myself or a counselor or someone that can help you. Even a really great friend that is good at reflection will help you unpack and resolve why you’ve got any kind of blocks going on that’s affecting your happiness, blocking your peace or it’s blocking your fun or connection. Anything that blocks those areas is creating some mental agitation or irritation within yourself, and it’s important to address that challenge head on and call it out. I call them shadows. Shadows loom in the background and follow you around. If we’ve got a shadow, it means there’s a part of us that’s in darkness or blocked that needs to be eliminated or brought into the light and resolved. Bringing a shadow into light means accepting it, welcome it back home (it is, after all, an aspect of you and cannot be rejected) and then rebirthing it.
4. And then finally, with mental health, self-love is taking yourself out of a situation that is negative for you. Yes – rip it off like a band-aid! If it’s an abusive workspace or home environment or perhaps it’s a toxic area in terms of health and wellness or pollution or any kind of toxicity in your environment, it’s about removing yourself from that or at least making the steps to plan a move away from that. When you do this, it’s like telling the universe that you matter, that you’re important and that you have enough self-love and care to change your circumstances, whether you can change it right now or whether you’re working toward a year-long plan. It’s a huge step. It might be scary. Yet the only way out of fear is through it.
So, they’re the key areas for career and mindset that we can show ourselves more self-love in a very practical way. I hope this has been helpful and love to hear from you if you’ve got any other ways of how you show self-love in terms of your career or your day-to-day mind and thoughts. Thank you and enjoy.
Find your inner Zen,
GET TO KNOW MORE ABOUT DEBBIE PASK
Debbie helps people tap into the absolute and immense power of their own energy. To bring change, heal, attract abundance, balance and a find a clear sense of self and life purpose, and live a spiritual life or help you move through major life transitions whether, that can be career purpose, personal identity challenges, relationship conflicts at work or at home, working through burnout/stress and more. READ MORE ABOUT DEBBIE