The Two Types of Fear

There are a lot of different fears that can hold us back. Fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of intimacy, fear of embarrassment, fear of getting hurt, fear of rejection, fear of pain...etc. I have given a lot of thought to these things over years of sessions and I reckon, they all come back to major two types of fear:

The Fear of the Unkown and the Fear of Judgement (from self or others)

The Fear of the Unknown

The first fear, fear of the unknown is a control issue. Fear of not knowing what will happen next or risking something with no guarantee can be scary for people. Resigning from a job with no future job lined up, leaving a relationship and not knowing how you may support yourself as a single person (financially or emotionally). Going for a new career that's in your heart but not knowing whether it will work out or not.

Being able to surrender is the opposite of fear of the unknown or control. It simply asks that we let go of any controlled idea of what needs to happen and just lets the path unfold without force or pressure. It requires having a bit of faith in your path and Spirit. It asks you to let the old go so that the new can come in. It's truly beautiful to witness and experience.

If your fears mainly come from here, try doing some exercises that relinquish control and start showing you it is safe to take risks. Start small and work your way up! Go do those surfing lessons you promised. Cut your hair short and dye it red! Take salsa classes. Ask a friend or partner to plan your weekend without you knowing what it is. Try out new clothes. Don't make a TO-DO list for a month. Leave that abusive relationship or start making plans. Speak up at work and say NO to your boss. Tell your mum or dad what you really think. Leave your crappy job. Go traveling solo. Launch the business of your dreams.

The Fear of Judgement

The second fear, fear of judgment, has more to do with lack of self-love or worth. A part of us is not good enough, and holding back from doing things we want because others will criticize, or reject us. We fear that deep down, we don't deserve something or the right to have it. When we feel truly valued and loved for who we are, we are free to go for our dreams. We learn that judgment is a shadow within others and they only judge us if they also have that issue lurking within. Otherwise, they wouldn't be bothered! So if you find yourself judging or criticizing others or feel fearful of being judged, examine yourself where in your life you are lacking self-love or worth? Working with judgment, Live by this quote: "It is none of your business what others think about you".

Start reflecting or meditating on where you feel the most judged in your life, career, relationships, health, or money What could you do to show yourself love or value in this area? Think about where you criticize others the most. That will be where your fears lie. If you're hard to people about their finances, then, you have an issue or poor relationship with money. If you look down on someone for being overweight, then deep down, you might also have body issues, whether you are deemed healthy or not. Start by doing some self-love exercises. Treat your self once a week with a good massage, a breakfast or long lunch break, flowers, a new pair of shoes or a night off cooking and etc. When we overcome our fears, magic happens. Go for it and see what you can do in 90 days!

 

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Debbie Pask helps people to live a spiritual life and specializes in helping you move through major life transitions – whether that be career purpose, personal identity challenges, relationship conflicts at work or home, working through burnout/stress and more.

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