10 Steps to Be Confident


Considering all of the client sessions I do, confidence and self-belief probably take the number one place for creating the most hurdles in life. Let’s face it. The gap between you and your dreams is simply one thing: your lack of confidence that you either deserve the dream or can achieve it. Or perhaps, you lack the belief that you should just throw caution to the wind, take a leap and go for it? We know that ‘lack of confidence’ is prevalent in our thinking as a society due to the high google search statistics on the word ‘confidence’. So, why are humans hard-wired to lack confidence? Loads of reasons. Our childhood experiences, the trauma of some kind, ancestral memories passed down. Where we grew up and whom we spent time with. Maybe bullying? Whatever it may be, let’s look at 10 steps on how to be confident in today’s world.

How to be confident using these 10 steps requires a new paradigm of thinking and being (energetically) in the world. Once mastered, you will bring in new inner strength, inner confidence, and an identity that will revolutionize the way you see yourself and your dreams. I see true confidence as an inside experience that creates a force of gravity that feels rock-like. That is you can’t shake it easily or crumble it. It’s solid and here to stay. That doesn’t mean you are not vulnerable or untouchable. It just means that you express your real feelings from a place of authentic wisdom.


1.You are Unique
Just like you have your own fingerprints, you need to honour and respect that nobody is exactly like you and therefore you have NO competition. As soon as you compare or compete, you lose the rock.

2. Love your Shadows
Shadows are parts of your ego or character that you don’t like or you judge. For example, you may not like your body shape or your impatience. When you learn to integrate all parts of yourself good and bad, the bad simply has no power over you and your confidence soars.

3. Practice Compassion
Compassion is not about forgiveness or letting people get away with bad behavior. Compassion is a non-judgmental awareness that says: “I will love and care for you but I won’t take on your crap”. The more we judge, the more we take on energetic burdens of others and ourselves. These burdens weigh down our confidence and strength.

4. Connect to your Life Purpose
This does not mean a career, although usually, it is. It means that you get super clear on why you are here, born in this lifetime and in this country. People who aren’t clear on their gift to the world (or who aren’t using it) are usually the least confident people I know. There’s nothing more empowering than knowing what you are designed to do. I work with clients to find their purpose because it’s so powerful.

5. Make friends with the Witness
Within you there is a ‘witness’ who pays attention to all things and who has a higher source of intuition and wisdom. Getting friendly with that inner self is paramount to feeling confident.

6. Problem solve intuitively
Trying to use our brain/mind/ego to solve big life problems is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Tap into the power of your right brain (your intuitive mind) and you will find that you leap over challenges more easily and they don’t re-visit you. If you don’t intuitively problem solve, those same niggly issues come back again and again till you get it.

7. Practice Mindfulness
Do I need to explain this one? Work out ways to pay attention and be present in the moment. This keeps a stable awareness that ensures you respond authentically to your environment.

8. You are what you eat
I have a friend who says “sugar is the devil”. I actually agree with her! When you pollute your body with poisons (fluoridated water, sugar, certain processed foods, etc.) frequently, your body and brain cannot function effectively. You are much more prone to mood swings and irritation, as these toxins are floating around your body looking for trouble. Can an edgy, irritated and unhealthy person truly be confident?

9. Establish your soul friend group
We all need to be connected and studies of various cultures show that harmonious social networks promote long healthy lives. Connect with those beautiful souls that make your heart sing. They will match your top values and in doing so, remind your inner ‘rock’ every day who and what you are. If we think we can do it solo, we are fooling ourselves.

10. Master the Yin & Yang.
Last but not least, my favorite concept! What has a back has a front. Yin is your creative feminine side and yang is your masculine logical side. Keep these two babies in balance and you’re set. Harder to do than you think. We are often out of balance and therefore not accessing our full confident self.



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