Point Zero

What does it mean to be at ‘point zero’? Why do we want to go there and how can we get there? Point Zero is a place whereby your mindset and thoughts are operating like the inner observer or the inner witness. It means that you rely on having peaceful and free thoughts and perceptions of the world, rather than relying on external or physical experiences to drive your happiness or mood. Let me repeat that. You cannot rely on external circumstances or outcomes to drive your mood or state of peace!

Sure, we all want time off and some personal luxuries that are important to us. I wouldn’t reject a great holiday, a pay rise, a lovely cooked meal, or those new shoes I was dreaming about. Maybe that surf I wanted to take or that beautiful person I wanted to end up with as my soul mate.

These are all ‘happiness enhancers’. However, if they control how you feel and how you judge yourself, then you are truly at the mercy of the universe, bobbing around in an uncertain sea that might change course at any time.

Things can go wrong, yet sometimes they go beautifully right. It's 50/50.

See, when I was growing up, I thought that to be balanced and happy, you needed to sort through a bunch of stuff to get there. Get good grades at school, make some friends. Get through the trauma of my L plates and then P plates to finally get that dreamy driver’s license that meant I could be free. Then when I went to university I just wanted to get that part-time job to have some spare cash, pass my uni degree, and then feel super-smart. Awesome… Intelligence gets a tick… But those uni days left me a bit overweight with all the food and coffee I stuffed down my throat to get my good grades and work that job on the side which meant less exercise for me. I mean – have you seen that thick small typeface they use in textbooks that I needed to read cover to cover for my philosophy degree? Surprised I didn’t need glasses afterward. So, being a little plump, I knew I needed to diet a bit and get that great body. How was I going to date unless I was super sexy? Happy now? Nope. I then needed to show my parents and my social network that I could get a good job, be a respectful citizen and earn money to pay back my 'uni' debt. Probably needed a better car to feel good about me too, and some trendy clothes to go clubbing in. After all, didn’t I need a hot young date on my arm to talk about my job and drive around in my car? What about my soul mate moment and my overseas travel experiences to expand my horizons and truly make me that evolved and culturally diverse person! So much to do just to be a complete and balanced person at one with myself! Woah - then what about a mortgage to show everyone how responsible I am and build a house full of great furniture? That makes me happy. No way, I needed to meet my future partner, get married and have that dream wedding day and then move in together –no wait, we are having kids now so what about a bigger home to make us all happy kids need a backyard after all! That’s gonna be it, the house, the job, the lover, the car and the kids with a backyard! Woohoo… but wait, I cannot be happy until I have the BMW 4WD like Mike the next-door neighbor. He even said he can get me a job with more money in banking. It's long hours -but wait I’ll be happier with more money right? Then we need a holiday to have as a family so that we can relax and truly be happy. Now, for anyone who knows me personally, I don't have the kids or the BMW -yet I think you get the idea. All of us have variations on what we think will make us happy. It's like the human ego is hard-wired that way. We need to let go of this damaging program. I totally accept that these life steps can provide growth and joy along the way and they can all be celebrated… They certainly enhance my experience living here on Earth. However, the long list can be overwhelming typing it! What if you don’t make the money to buy a BMW or what if your dream job is singing and not working in a bank? What if you get retrenched or fired from work, and your dream home has moldy leaks?  What happens if you don’t quite meet your soul mate before childbearing years or maybe you just can’t have children? What will happen if your partner leaves you for someone else? Maybe you get sick and cannot go on the skiing holiday, or you decide that a big paying job is awful and you fall into a trapped depression? Does that mean that your life sucks?

You are always going to add more to your list of achievements and milestones. Yet, you are always going to have life play out differently from your intended dreamy ideals. That's real and raw. I can see how life just gives people external things to focus and invest in. Then I can see that when it crashes, lose the job and the car cause you can't afford it and lose your family because you're working long hours. People capitulate and become lost. They are no longer in their center of power. Happiness is buried. That’s where POINT ZERO comes in. That doesn’t mean you don’t want these things or aim for them. That’s cool, set your goals. Just don’t allow them to become bigger than YOU. Because when things don’t go your way, you don’t want to be a rag doll pummelled by the universe. You cannot control the external circumstances, so don’t be an idiot and try to play the KING role where everyone and everything bows to your kingdom. It’s never going to be real.

Here is where POINT ZERO makes its entrance. Be the observer. Witness what’s going on and stay centered in your own thoughts. Sure, you can be sad, angry, or upset by events not rolling out nicely. I know I am. It’s your choice to be upset. It’s your choice to be angry. From a higher perspective. From a higher awareness. You are ON it and not IN it. ON: Above or viewing at a higher level. Understanding and staying true to your inner self even if the event is crappy. IN: Being wrapped up in it and not seeing outside of the red glaring drama in your life. It's like being blinded. It's far up in your face that you're wrinkled mess or stress. Which sounds better? ON, right? So, I learned after all of this to stay in the center and practice the lifelong art of being at POINT ZERO.

Staying in a place that means I am content and peaceful no matter what I am doing. Washing dishes or skiing in Japan. I know what I cannot and what I can control. I have internal control over my thoughts and feelings. Sure, I often lose my shit. Sometimes the drama creeps in like the sneaky flu. However, I catch myself on these days pretty quickly. My inner critic -the drama queen or judge, doesn’t stay very long before my observer kicks in and corrects my thinking. The more you do it, the better you become at handling life.

Point Zero stares in the face of your ego and says, make your plans amigo but remember who's really in charge of deciding how much inner peace and happiness I have.

Remember these rules:

1. You can control how you think, feel and respond.
   
   

2. Point Zero means you are observing from a higher perspective, watching external events and making conscious choices on how to react.
   
   

3. Cultivating Point Zero takes time, and the more you practice the easier it becomes ('The Witness or Observer').
   
   

4. Happiness isn’t having THINGS or meeting GOALS. Happiness is how you feel about yourself.  Goals give you opportunities to grow and can enhance your life experience yet, as a stand-alone thing, it cannot make you happy. Happiness is a mental choice we make every day to feel connected and free to whatever is going on around us, easy or hard as it may be. And for you, I wish it to be easy.

When it’s hard, command your inner point zero warrior spirit and go make war with your ego and be sure to win! Because every time you win, the next battle becomes easier. Let your ego be your faithful servant. Point Zero is the best friend you’ll ever have.

Debbie Paskhelps people to live a spiritual life and specializes in helping you move through major life transitions – whether that be career purpose, personal identity challenges, relationship conflicts at work or home, working through burnout/stress, and more. Get your Personal Coaching Session with Debbie now! Get to know more about the sessions and premium packages included.